One win from the promised land

There was something pleasant about arriving for an evening kick off in daylight. Finally winter had officially ended- although given the weather we’d had perhaps winter should be renamed ‘water’- and we were heading at pace towards the climax of the campaign. Tonight’s hosts, Leatherhead, hoped that climax would arrive shortly and be filled with joy, but in the meantime they needed to overcome a Kingstonian-shaped obstacle. 

The Tanners were ten points clear at the top of the Pitching In Isthmian South Central, and ten points was rather a lot with six games to go, so they had room for error. That said, their home form had been, on occasions, an error all of its own. If the table were worked out on away performance alone they’d be fifteen points clear, but if it were decided only on home form they’d be seventh, so prior to tonight’s match the home fans weren’t displaying the certainty that might normally come with such a lofty position. Leatherhead had three defeats and seven wins from their previous ten matches, and all of those defeats had arrived in front of their own fans. 

The visiting K’s had only two defeats from ten, with only one of those loses coming away from home. On that basis, the trip to Fetcham Grove didn’t hold many fears. That said, they had already lost twice to the Tanners this season in League and Trophy, and indeed didn’t have a competitive victory over their green-clad hosts since January 2022, so perhaps those memories brought some uncertainty. 

Daylight we might have had, but we were devoid of sunshine. Those supporters who had turned up in shorts had perhaps forgotten to do their laundry and had nothing else to wear, or otherwise were displaying the kind of optimism which we should applaud. That said, our advice is that if you are heading to an evening football match in the early Spring, be a pessimist when it comes to clothing. As a mother would say, “if you’ve got layers, you can remove them.” Well, it was either a mother or the director of sales for Mountain Warehouse.

We expected plenty of goalmouth action this evening. The hosts fielded Nathan Hogan, who had scored twenty six League goals, twenty eight in all competitions, and was the leading contender for the South Central Golden Boot. Entering the field from the red and white corner was Eddie Simon, who had managed fourteen goals from twenty two matches since returning to the K’s, and who was something of an Isthmian Golden Boot specialist, winning the award both with the K’s and with Walton Casuals. As it turned out- spoiler alert- neither would score, but one of them did play a significant part in the outcome. 

Kingstonian, in yellow, got us underway, and their fans burst into song, not that the early stages gave them anything worth singing about. Their gusto was admirable, however they were particularly keen on the song which refers to a dislike of their current surroundings and a wish to return to their homestead. Going forward we think that should be named the ‘lack of self-awareness anthem.’

After spending the first couple of minutes in the air the ball finally became acquainted with the grass. The Tanners pressed, bringing some rather desperate defending from the visitors, followed by a corner, followed by more desperate defending and a shot wide of the post. 

On eight minutes Cameron Black tried a bicycle kick which went wide, and Liam Beach was then forced into action, diving to his right to keep out a goalbound header. The traffic was very much one way as a shot was deflected wide, and then unsurprisingly, we got the opening goal. A cross from the left found Anas Igozouln entirely unmarshalled, and he made no mistake. 

Goal: Leatherhead 1 Kingstonian 0, Anas Igozouln, 11 minutes

The excitement of the first goal remained unabated when the Tanners added a second. A ball down the middle found Jordy Gallagher, and his finish was superb. 

Goal: Leatherhead 2 Kingstonian 0, Jordan Gallagher, 14 minutes

To some extent, Kingstonian were inviting much of that pressure themselves. They insisted on playing out from the back, and on a number of occasions in the first half keeper Liam Beach was almost caught out by an onrushing forward. Clearly the Tanners had been briefed to deny him time.

A mistake finally gave Kingstonian a chance, Simon pouncing on the error but seeing his shot blocked. From a long throw a defensive header went backwards and dropped just wide of the post, the home players shouting for a goal kick, the referee right in pointing for a corner. From that corner the Tanners broke forward, and Beach had to save another attempt on target with his feet.

We expected Simon to play a decisive part in the match, and indeed he did, but not the way he would have wanted. He was nowhere near the ball on twenty two minutes when the referee suddenly blew the whistle, turned to him and reached for the red card. We can only assume that the decision was based on something that the forward said, so we suspect the referee must have been greatly offended by it. 

Still, Simon works in the orthodontic industry, so he’ll have plenty of opportunity to wash out his own mouth when he returns to work.

The red card was, undoubtedly, the decisive moment of the match. The Tanners had been well on top when it had been eleven v eleven, but now they had the time to pass the ball around in a rather relaxed fashion with nearly all of the risk removed. Both sets of fans descended into near silence.

Just after the half hour Igozouln got clear down the right, cut in, and shot, Beach making a block. The rebound needed to go across goal but the Tanners number eleven decided to try another shot, his effort going wide of the post, and you had to think that he should have done better. 

All the pressure came from the hosts, with their left back Charlie Kennett particularly prominent. He was later awarded man of the match and that could have been based on his first half efforts alone; he was quieter after the break, but then, so was almost everyone. 

The first half came to an end, and the six hundred and fifteen watching on all headed towards the snack bar- or at least it seemed that way, the queue was almost back to the turnstiles. The atmosphere was rather relaxed; the home fans knew that their Fetcham Grove hoodoo, such as it was, had been bypassed, the visiting fans were quite clear that there was no way back. 

Half time: Leatherhead 2 Kingstonian 0

At half time the K’s made a change. The Tanners made two. It was almost as if the match had taken on the air of a mid-season international friendly; although unlike England during the last seven days the home side was still keen to go forward rather than just backwards and sideways. 

An effort from the hosts was easily held, and then immediately at the other end Sonny Wheeler had to be alert to deny the K’s, and alert he was, perhaps surprisingly as he’d had so much time on his own he could have taken up tanning and made himself a wallet. The pressure remained, unsurprisingly, at the other end, and Jacob Breckon had a chance, but he waited too long to shoot and found his effort blocked. That summed up the second half; again and again the hosts got into good positions and then dithered before shooting or crossing. Had they done otherwise they’d surely have scored more goals. 

They did soon have a third, however, and nobody was surprised by that. George Hedley was the scorer, a chipped cross being met by a fabulous header and the outcome of the match being put beyond question. 

Goal: Leatherhead 3 Kingstonian 0 54 minutes

As it turned out, the scoring stopped there. The K’s defence played rather well, but their hosts could have been out of sight; indeed, perhaps should have been. Beach made a number of fine saves-particularly from Gallagher, who could have had a hat trick- and, at the other end, Wheeler also had to make a great save seventeen minutes from time. The match remained entertaining, but it had lost its edge. The fans at both ends began to sing of past glories- trips they had taken to Wembley- but the home faithful were also dreaming of future glory, and that might arrive as early as Saturday.

Leatherhead ended the evening thirteen points clear at the top. Given there are only five matches remaining, it doesn’t take much skill in mathematics to work out that, should they win at the seaside- they travel to Littlehampton Town- the title will be theirs. We shall see if we can take the trophy down to the coast, just in case!

Fetcham Grove is a fine place to watch football. That’s not particularly a comment on the ground itself- although it has no shortage of charm- but on the people who inhabit it. The staff at the Tanners, from stewards to tea bar, from boardroom to turnstiles and every space in between, are as lovely a bunch of folks as you will ever meet at an Isthmian ground, and it’s a delight to see them happy. They’ve much to be happy about, as despite an occasional home lapse their side has lived up to its title-favourites tag all season long, and it’ll be good to see them back in our top flight.

Congratulations; job- nearly- done!