Stepping Aside: Casuals announce radical plans to re-introduce Corinthian-Spirit to the beautiful game

Feeling that ‘Corinthian-Spirit’ has been lost from the game, Corinthian-Casuals have decided to once again champion the idea of fair play and sportsmanship in a bid to spread the good word across the world of football.

Radical changes to how the club operates on the field include:

1. Stepping aside for penalties, first made famous by the legendary goalkeeper Thomas Rowlandson. It was his pristine belief that the referee was always right – and therefore stood aside to expose an open goal.

2. Corinthians also felt ‘disgust’ at the penalty rule introduced in 1891, who believed that no player would deliberately foul another. Therefore, all penalty kicks ‘awarded’ to Casuals will be forfeited.

3. Bookings; should any Corinthian be shown a red or yellow card, for unsporting behaviour, such as dissent, they will politely be asked to leave the club.

Principles of sportsmanship will not just be limited to the pitch; Corinthian-Casuals will be inviting all of their opponents to dine with them the evening before at prestigious establishments, such as the Dorchester Hotel, as a ‘thank you’ for the forthcoming sporting occasion.

The list of principles, agreed by committee via Zoom, falls in line with Casuals’ recent announcement of re-introducing the policy of exclusively recruiting players from Public Schools, including Oxford and Cambridge Blues. The great Corinthians of the turn of the 20th Century were almost all students from independent educational facilities.

Club spokesman C.B. Woosnam went on record to say; “This will naturally hinder us in terms of league table position, but we’re looking at the bigger picture. I’m sure we’re all dismayed when we see players diving to win penalties or rolling around the floor in order to get their fellow sportsman sent off. We’re making a stand against this modern virus in the game and hopefully, our word will spread just as it did over 120 years ago.”

To commemorate these changes, all players will wear traditional attire of the time with Captain and goalkeeper Danny Bracken donning a fetching cricket jumper and cap, just as his forefather, Rowlandson had done.

When reading this article, please take note of the date- and thanks to Stuart at Casuals for sending it in!