The Geordie Dozen

The last time Hanwell Town and Staines Town met, back in September, the Geordies won a rather extraordinary match by six goals to five, coming back from a rather improbable four goals down to do it. On that note we expected both goals and drama in last night's Pitching In Isthmian South Central return match at Wheatsheaf Park- but we suspect nobody had ever considered that the final score could possibly be twelve-nil!

Our preview yesterday mentioned that the Geordies have had a 'bit of an up and down season by their standards'- but it was most certainly an up and up evening last night, with five goals in the first half and seven more in the second. If a first half penalty had also been converted we could have been talking about a bakers dozen.

Spare a thought for the poor Swans fans in attendance, and for their Twitter admin, who was both amusing and stoic throughout the match but who seems to have deleted every tweet this morning, in a wish to pretend that it never happened. Sadly, unless we're all having a Bobby Ewing in the shower moment (ask your grandparents), it did.

Sam Saunders started things off, tapping in a cross from Tom Collins in the sixth minute, and only one minute later the tally was two, as Massimo Giamattei got into the act.

Collins has been prolific this season, both at Chipstead and for the Geordies, and he made it three-nil on the night and nineteen for the season when slotting past Swans stopper Joe Ringer for three in the thirteenth minute. A missed penalty made little difference to the visitors, as Collins got his twentieth of the season on twenty eight minutes, converting a Jack Hutchinson cross, before Edon Pruti made it five, four minutes before the break.

The shellshocked Swans support may have thought it couldn't get much worse.

It most certainly could.

Saunders made it six nine minutes after the restart, before Ogo Obi, on as a half time substitute for Collins, got into the act. Having a striker with his instincts on the bench is something of a luxury, and he got his eighteenth of the season eleven minutes after entering the fray. Hutchinson went from provider to scorer when getting number eight just after the hour, before Salhin Abubakar, making his debut and only on the field for nine minutes, made it nine.

Still the pain didn't stop for the hosts, Obi sending the Geordies into double figures on seventy three minutes, Tomasz Siemienczuk getting number eleven from the spot nine minutes from time, and Harry Rush grabbing number twelve when chipping the keeper just before the end.

Congratulations to the Geordies, who close to within a point of the top five and who now have a goal difference only bettered by runaway leaders Bracknell Town; and commiserations to the hosts, who ended the night third from bottom.

Thanks to Elsa Jones of the visitors for an enthusiastic social media commentary, which helped enormously- and for the picture!

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