A Witham Rover!

Non-League football attracts a wide variety of followers. At Witham Town, a very popular fan is definitely a follower. He lets somebody else take the lead. Enter Theo, Witham Town’s official dog, who is a regular attender at home matches.

Theo’s obvious enthusiasm for football and his fellow fans have made him a big favourite with the locals. He has a lot to say on his own social media accounts and in the matchday programme.

Jim secured an exclusive interview with Theo. This is how it went:

Who are your favourite opponents Theo?

“I always used to look forward to the matches against Barking and Barkingside. Now Barking are in a different division and Barkingside are in a different league. That suits me though. I am in a different league myself.”

What is your favourite away ground Theo?

“Canvey Island is the most interesting one. I’m from an island myself; the Isle of Dogs. The pitch at Canvey Island is below sea level. You need to make sure you’ve got plenty of subs available when you play there. In the 19th century underwater football was normal. In 1870 Jules Verne wrote a book about it called Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.
We played at Canvey last season in unbelievably bad weather. It was raining cats and dogs. People were hailing taxis.”

Have you ever played football Theo?

“Of course. I was a great player but I was unlucky. I’m only human. Even I can’t succeed all the time. I probably could if I was a budgie. Anyway the vet told me I had to give up football because I had two left feet. Too right.”

Do you think we should have animal football teams?

“Football suits some animals but not cats. Imagine a cats’ team winning a cup. It would be a cat-has-trophe . I don’t think wild animals can play football properly. I’d be lion if I said otherwise”.

What do you want for Christmas Theo?

“I’m hoping to get a Witham shirt. Sometimes I bite football shirts and tear them, but I know where to get them repaired. I send them to another club and they Soham.”

Witham Town’s Vice-Chairman Jim Purtill explains:

“I’ll make no bones about it. When Theo started going to matches at the Simarco Stadium, it was love at first bite. He was pupular immediately. He is the nearest thing to a WAG that we’ve got at Witham and this is his tail. We know that he will never leave us. THEO-nly Way is Witham.”

We'll stop now. As although it's Christmas, you probably don't have enough alcohol in the house to cope with any more terrible puns!

Does your club have a Non-League dog whom you'd like to introduce to the world? If so, feel free to get in touch and send in your pictures and stories. But they don't necessarily need to come with their own scriptwriter and a career in Vaudeville!